AGE , AGING AND AGE DEFYING FORMULAS
Suddenly, there is a slew of adverts on Indian TV of aging creams. The preferred models being the actresses and starlets who have just recently retired from playing the nubile girl in the Hindi movies.
As it turns out, 32 is a v old age and if one wants to look ‘young’ at 32, enough to keep your husband attentions, then one has to start using these products!! The punch line being look 23 at 32!!! The latest advert I saw today brought the bar a bit lower- its reduced from 32 to 28!!!!!!!!!!!!
If I go by the adverts, some things are clear
- 32/28 is old age
- At 32, girls are married and the focus is on husbands- possibility of an unmarried woman dolling up for a boyfriend is not shown
- That women now at 32 are acknowledged to have more purchasing power than in the past- enough to allow them to buy un proven, expensive and trivial cosmetics products
- No such products for men , as yet. Guess these will follow in a couple of years (like the fairness cream thing, last couple of years, it’s the men fairness creams that are slowly hogging the airwaves)
What does it mean to a person like me, who his well above 32 and wayyyy past 28, Apart from making one feel old!!
If I look at myself, I think I had greater fun later on the years than early on. This would probably be true for a substantial number of women in India.
What was I doing
Before 18: studies, exams, watchful mother, studies focused father….pimples, resenting looking older than my elder sister
18-22: studies, tension of ‘building a career good , pressure to avoid the doomsday scenario repeated by my dad ever since we were kids- that of becoming a LDC in a govt dept; passing the exams, finding a job………
23-28 : start working, pressures of getting married, a non cooperative boyfriend who does not see eye to eye with parents on the issue of marriage (ok, a clarification on this by the then non cooperative boyfriend- that I was a cooperative daughter but a non cooperative girl friend).
Yes, in between all this, there was fun, but this fun was tempered by many considerations, some self created and some not, which did not allow a ‘carefree’ time of fun. Being a good daughter – in terms of education and in terms of meeting the relative conservative standards at home and similar things in all public and private spheres of life. One rebelled, did precisely the things that parents would rather have us not do (like having a boyfriend and associated escapades), but all of them were done with a feeling of guilt – of not being the perfect daughter/student that was expected of us.
So, basically, all these early years were one of interesting strife, a period of tug of war between what I wanted to do, what I thought I wanted to do (or maybe not) and what was I was expected to do. One’s horizon was growing, one’s wish to extend it was growing too but there were constraints, temerity, some of them v intangible, which always prevented one from , atleast feeling like a ‘rebel without a cause’.
It was post 23 that things began to change….one started becoming more adventurous, more confident of oneself, more confident of what one was thinking and when one’s access to freedom was becoming greater by the day.
I think that a lot of real development and real exploration for me started only after 23 and continues till today. Am pretty lucky in a way on this, that I am not caught in the conventional hoopla which many women get caught in – esp post marriage etc.
In any case, the point is that at 36, I am, I think, a much better person than I was at 23- if not better, atleast I am more relaxed abt what I am – with all the faults and shortcomings. At 36, I probably have more character in me than I had at 23. In between 23 and 36, I think I have had fun- much more of a carefree fun than I had before that!! Even at 36, there are new exploration of oneself that one is doing- still trying to be what I think I want to be!!!!!
So, why would I want to roll back years and become 23 again???? Why would I even like to LOOK like when I was 23. At 36, grey haired, a couple of kgs extra weight – all classical signs of ageing can be seen…but then, who cares! One is a mirror of what one has been through….and what genes one gets….why would I want to hide/defy either!!!
I am sure there are women like me in India, who feel the same. At 36, they want to look what they look like just what they look like. They have managed to loosen some of the strings with assorted expectations from assorted sources…..so why would we like to add an apology of not looking like am 23 at 36 !!!
For all of us, would be good that these adverts caught up with what we feel! Maybe that will persuade more of us to spend our hard earned money on a worthless products that are being sold so painstakingly!
Saturday, September 18, 2010
Friday, July 23, 2010
10 ways to create traffic jams in Delhi- by govt and by residents
How to create a traffic jam, 10 lessons from Govt of Delhi
1. Organise an international sports event in the city, start work on it 10 mths before the inauguration day and then, dig up the whole city to relay the roads, beautify the city etc.
2. Pick up a 1 sq km area, zero down on the main road, start work on it at 8.45 am by taking off the stones of the divider and leaving it 2 mtrs on either side of the road. Stop work at 11.00 am and start work in another site. Prepare a schedule such that each site gets 3 hrs of work each month.
3. Prepare a good road, dig a 30 cm straight line across the road so that vehicles have to come to a crawl to cross this, vehicles crash into each other when one of them is not able to stop in time and ofcourse, if you ignore it then you pay for it to the mechanic
4. Prepare a good road, study the guidelines for a good speedbreaker…..make an exact opposite of it, preferably one which is so constructed to touch the base of the car engine each time you try to go over the speed breaker.
5. for a big construction (like a flyover), make good side roads and then make BIG potholes on it. Pour a truck of water on the road each day so that the potholes expand exponentially each day.
6. Once a flyover/underpass is ready, start building another one 2 kms down the road within 2 months of completion of the first one
7. Equip red lights with highly sensitive water sensors and tune in a way that a single drop of rain will switch off the red lights for 2 sq km around.
8. Turn off the red lights in each area for 2 hrs/day around the peak time. The jam will last 4 hrs.
9. Change the traffic pattern for the main roads on a monthly basis by opening/closing free left turns, making a road one way etc- this will ensure a continuum of jams
10. In residential areas next to high volume roads, do not make provisions for taking convenient u turns or for changing to the other side of the road. People will drive on the wrong side and this will create jams.
How to create a traffic jam, 10 lessons from people of Delhi
1. Always drive in a way that your vehicle straddles the white lines on the road (why does govt spend so much money in making the dashed and continuous lines on the road for beautification?)
2. It is safe to keep moving till about 20 secs AFTER the orange light has turned red
3. In residential neighbourhoods, park your big cars in a way that ¼ of the car is on the pavement and ¾ on the road. The bigger the car, the more space you have the right to take on the road
4. Wherever there are subways, never use them. Instead, make a small hole, break a couple of bars of the fence along the road separator and cross the road. Now, with no red lights, each time you cross, the traffic will come to a halt.
5. Private bus operators, to stop at a bus stop on a road 4 lane wide, bring the bus to a halt with the nose of the bus in the first lane and the tail in lane 3. Make sure that at no point in time, should the nose of the bus be less than 3 mtrs from the bus stop shed.
6. Make an informal bus stop right after the red light or under the flyover. It helps in slowing down the traffic
7. A fight on the pavement is a signal for everyone to slow down/stop and watch the fight.
8. A road accident/vehicle ceasing in the middle of the road is a signal for everyone on vehicles to slow down/stop and watch whats happening
9. Do not use school transport, drop and pick up your school going children and create a jam on the road each day..
10. Save every meter of mileage of your vehicle- ride opposing the traffic to save 2 mtrs (since the u turn is 2 mtrs too far) and create jams.
1. Organise an international sports event in the city, start work on it 10 mths before the inauguration day and then, dig up the whole city to relay the roads, beautify the city etc.
2. Pick up a 1 sq km area, zero down on the main road, start work on it at 8.45 am by taking off the stones of the divider and leaving it 2 mtrs on either side of the road. Stop work at 11.00 am and start work in another site. Prepare a schedule such that each site gets 3 hrs of work each month.
3. Prepare a good road, dig a 30 cm straight line across the road so that vehicles have to come to a crawl to cross this, vehicles crash into each other when one of them is not able to stop in time and ofcourse, if you ignore it then you pay for it to the mechanic
4. Prepare a good road, study the guidelines for a good speedbreaker…..make an exact opposite of it, preferably one which is so constructed to touch the base of the car engine each time you try to go over the speed breaker.
5. for a big construction (like a flyover), make good side roads and then make BIG potholes on it. Pour a truck of water on the road each day so that the potholes expand exponentially each day.
6. Once a flyover/underpass is ready, start building another one 2 kms down the road within 2 months of completion of the first one
7. Equip red lights with highly sensitive water sensors and tune in a way that a single drop of rain will switch off the red lights for 2 sq km around.
8. Turn off the red lights in each area for 2 hrs/day around the peak time. The jam will last 4 hrs.
9. Change the traffic pattern for the main roads on a monthly basis by opening/closing free left turns, making a road one way etc- this will ensure a continuum of jams
10. In residential areas next to high volume roads, do not make provisions for taking convenient u turns or for changing to the other side of the road. People will drive on the wrong side and this will create jams.
How to create a traffic jam, 10 lessons from people of Delhi
1. Always drive in a way that your vehicle straddles the white lines on the road (why does govt spend so much money in making the dashed and continuous lines on the road for beautification?)
2. It is safe to keep moving till about 20 secs AFTER the orange light has turned red
3. In residential neighbourhoods, park your big cars in a way that ¼ of the car is on the pavement and ¾ on the road. The bigger the car, the more space you have the right to take on the road
4. Wherever there are subways, never use them. Instead, make a small hole, break a couple of bars of the fence along the road separator and cross the road. Now, with no red lights, each time you cross, the traffic will come to a halt.
5. Private bus operators, to stop at a bus stop on a road 4 lane wide, bring the bus to a halt with the nose of the bus in the first lane and the tail in lane 3. Make sure that at no point in time, should the nose of the bus be less than 3 mtrs from the bus stop shed.
6. Make an informal bus stop right after the red light or under the flyover. It helps in slowing down the traffic
7. A fight on the pavement is a signal for everyone to slow down/stop and watch the fight.
8. A road accident/vehicle ceasing in the middle of the road is a signal for everyone on vehicles to slow down/stop and watch whats happening
9. Do not use school transport, drop and pick up your school going children and create a jam on the road each day..
10. Save every meter of mileage of your vehicle- ride opposing the traffic to save 2 mtrs (since the u turn is 2 mtrs too far) and create jams.
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